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I recently read an article that took me back a bit. Mostly because it described me to a T, and it made me a bit melancholy knowing that. It was about embracing the moment, here and now.
If you’re a mama, you know how hectic life can get and how being on a schedule is the only thing to keep you sane. You strive for the best organized life to make sure things are in line, you’re rushing to get things done because there is never enough time in the day. However, as a mother, you also know with schedules and busy days, time has wings. You blink, and your newborn is now six months old. Your once toddler is now in kindergarten. How did that happen? You look back on the time and think, did I embrace it?
Sure, you lived through it but did you not worry about the laundry that day and instead make a mess with the kids? Did you forget the baseboards needed a deep cleaning, and instead go on an adventure with the family? Did you for even a minute, forget about life’s stresses and just live life? Thinking back on MY life as a mother and how things have been, I can honestly say that moments like that are few and far between. THAT makes me sad. Am I a bad mother because of it? Did I do the wrong thing?
I sat in bed and pondered this last night. I feel like making my husband happy being a stay at home mom means a clean home, and dinner on the table. I want him to feel comfortable coming home knowing I’m keeping up the household, but what does that do to me as a mother and how can I manage such a thing? Yes, I’ll admit it. I DO stress when my house is dirty. I can spot a speck of dust from a mile away and it’ll give me anxiety. When the kids toys aren’t picked up before he comes home, I feel as though he’ll judge me as a mother. Thinking that I can’t handle it and why isn’t the house picked up? In all reality though, he doesn’t care. He KNOWS I’m a good mother and that I can keep up the house. He KNOWS that it chores are an everyday thing and eventually they’ll get done, and he knows that the kids take time, effort and most of all… LOVE.
There are times when Ava is thrilled to death about something. Even if it’s the smallest thing, like the ant outside the door she found. That is something that she wanted to share with me, and at that moment when she comes running in the door I may have a crying baby on my hip, trying to fold laundry and a sink full of dishes and yes, I have told her to wait a minute. After I get my head on straight, I’ll of course ask her what it was and she will show me, but I know I didn’t embrace it with her. I know she was excited about showing me, and I’m sure I didn’t show her the same expression back. THAT kills me.
Like I said, we get sucked into every day life but I’m consciously making an effort to do the opposite. I’m going to let her stay in her PJ’s a little bit longer, I’m not going to rush her when she needs to eat, or tell her more often to “wait”. If my head is spinning while she’s showing me her puppet show and I know the house is a disaster with the husband coming home in 5 minutes, so what. We’ll live. This is now, and these moments I will never be getting back. I’m embracing the kids are only young once, and every day stresses can kick rocks.
Check out my post this week on The Flourish Blog!
