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I had an ultimate mama fail.
Soooo, a couple months ago Ty was down in out from some “food poisoning.” I say that in quotes because he had gone out to celebrate a friends laws school graduation the night before, and ya… I blame it on too many shots of Jameson. The dude doesn’t go out anymore. You can’t drink like you used to babe! However, he sweeaaaaars that it was from the chicken wrap we had gotten at the annual strawberry festival the day before. Eh, could have been. You can never REALLY trust those food stands.
Anyway, like I said, he wasn’t feeling well and needed me to go to the Apple store to try to get his phone fixed (he doesn’t remember what happened to it). *hint hint* it was the Jameson. The nearest Apple store is about 20 minutes away. So here I am driving merrily along the road, thinking to myself… wow, Nolan is being really good right now. Mind you, he absolutely HATES the car, or maybe it’s just the car seat. We still can’t figure it out, but the kid screams from the moment he’s in it, until you take him out. Sometimes I want to bash my head against the steering wheel, and I truly think it’s formed me into this crazy road raged psychopath. I need to get from point a to point b quick OR ELSE…
I get into town, and am sitting at a stop light when I get a whiff of an awful smell. Did I step in dog poop? Is there poop in the car? OMG, DID I LEAVE A DIRTY DIAPER IN HERE?! I checked the bottom of my sandals, nope. Checked the front of the car and the back, nothing (during this time Nolan is still very quiet). Finally, I park. Found a perrrrfect parking spot right in front of the Apple store. I get out, and make my way around the car to get Nolan out and to my amaaaazment I figured out where the awful smell was coming from!
MY SON WAS COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN HIS VERY OWN POOP.
Literally from head to freaking toe. In in hair, all over his face, IN HIS MOUTH, on his hands, all over his clothes, in between his toes. Oh my gaaawd I wanted to cry! Not to mention that I had an appointment scheduled with these guys in 4 minutes to be exact. I couldn’t bring a sh*t covered kid into the store, and if I didn’t make it to my appointment then I’d have to wait another three hours to get another one. I start searching frantically around the car for my diaper bag, all the while Nolan has started his screaming fit flicking poop all over the car while people are walking by staring at me. The diaper bag was no where to be found. How had I forgotten it? ULTIMATE FAIL.
I swear, I had some angels looking down on me that day because I had found a fresh pack of wipes in the trunk. How they got lost back there, I don’t know, but they were there and it was the most relieving feeling of my life at that moment. If you had been one of the bystanders watching, you’d see me changing a very angry kid in the front of the car all the while throwing disgusting poopy wipe, after poopy wipe, after poopy wipe onto the curb. It was awesome (insert sarcasm here).
Let’s just say that I didn’t make it to the appointment, and my husband was still phone less. Nolan’s carseat was still smelling of poop and I’m sure we lost a nugget somewhere in between all of the chaos. I had him crying bloody murder the entire 20 minute drive home, and by the time I pulled into the driveway my heart rate was at it’s all time high. The carseat fabric luckily pulled right off, and was washed about 500 times just to make sure we got it extra clean, and Nolan spent a good 30 minutes in the bathtub.
I frankly recall this happening with Ava when she was little too. In the middle of the night, driving alone on the freeway. I had no where to stop as I was traveling from Los Angeles back home. Smart mother I was at the time, pulled over on some random off ramp in the dark to change my child. Luckily, I survived that too and had my diaper bag handy. No serial killers were out lurking that off ramp, or maybe I had some angels looking over me that night as well. Amen!
Have any of you had moments like this? Ones that were an absolute disaster at the time, but now you can look back on and laugh? Share them with me!
