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I always wondered how I would react the first time Ava got bullied by another kid. Not too long ago we watched This is 40, and when I saw this scene I literally saw my face on her body. Please be advised there is some bad language in the video, so send the kiddos outside!
OF COURSE, I would never do this but seriously…? You are so protective as parents, and I always felt I would literally want to go tear into that little person for hurting my daughter’s feelings. Well, yesterday it happened for the first time. My poor little Ava bug! She was at home with daddy while I was away helping a sweet woman that I take care of every now and then when I got a text.
“One of the boys next door called Ava a baby and they’re ignoring her.”
My heart sank. Initially I felt horrible, and guilty for not being there to hug her. This wasn’t the first time she’s played with the neighbors, nor the first time I’ve personally heard them not be so nice to her. Normally, she shoves it off and continues to play with them. Obviously, this time really got to her considering she came inside to tell Tyler. Then, I started to get mad. I noticed my mood changing thinking about how dare that little boy call my daughter a baby! How dare he hurt her feelings! As a mother, should I be mad at myself for recognizing that they occasionally weren’t nice in the first place, and should I of stopped it before it happened? Well, no. I can’t keep her in a bubble. Although, sometimes I wish I could.
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It was out of my hands, and these kinds of things are bound to happen. When Ava first started preschool, both Tyler and I sat down with her and talked a little bit about bullys. We had told her if someone was mean to her, or if she witnessed it happening to another one of her classmates to walk away, and to be extra nice to that person because they needed it. They needed to see how it felt for another kid to be nice to them and maybe they could learn from her.
I was so anxious to get home that day to talk to her. I wanted to first kiss her and tell her what a beautiful little girl she was, then I wanted to make sure her spirit wasn’t too hurt. When I finally did finish up my day and arrive home, she was a happy little ray of sunshine she always is. I took some time before I finally asked what happened.
Me: ”Ava, I heard one of the boys next door didn’t play nice today.”
Ava: “Yeah, they called me a baby.”
Me: “Did it hurt your feelings?”
Ava: “Yes, but that’s okay.”
Me: “Well, no honey that’s not very nice. I’m sorry. What did you do?”
Ava: “What you said, I walked away.”
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I was appalled and SO proud at the same time. What an amazing little girl we have raised. I’m aware this won’t be the first, or the last time something like this will happen, but at least I know she’s listening and acknowledging what to do. For a four year old, the time when their brains are from one place to the next within seconds, that’s pretty spectacular. And as her mama I feel accomplished!