Hi Son,
Life is a crazy adventure. It really is. It’s full of twists and turns, bumps and loops, happiness and bliss, blues and grief. It’s a whirlwind of excitement and chaos all at the same time. You’ll feel this soon enough, but don’t rush. Please, don’t rush.
Your dad and I prayed for you to join our family, day after day. We knew in our minds how undeniable our love would be for you, but never knew the strength of that love until our hearts felt it. You came into this world, fast. Really fast, and early. Ready to conquer the world while mama had a solid three more weeks of you growing in my belly. Nothing stopped you that early Tuesday morning you arrived. A fresh set of lungs, a big, healthy, pruney, beautiful baby boy. I was fixated on you, and was so delighted that you were finally here, my one and only son.
Time has crept up on us, and soon you will be one year old. I can hardly believe it. Where did my fresh, newborn baby go? I suppose time has to pass, and you kids of mine do have to get older. I suppose I shall bask in the essence of it all and realize that those whimpering cries, your little hands tugging at my leg, the toothless smiles, and the late night cuddles will be gone some day. I don’t want to come to terms with it though. One day when you’re blessed with babies of your own, you’ll understand.
My life with you has been nothing short of gratifying. Both you and your sister have made this journey worthwhile. Even on the hardest of days when nothing seems to be going right and I truly need a break, something you kids do or say just puts all of the nonsense to the wind and I’m shown right in front of me how lucky I am to be your mama. I may yell, I may say ‘no’ a lot, and I may send you to your room for time outs more often than you’d like, but just know that it’s me trying to do the right thing. You’ll realize your sister gets the same type of punishment, and one day I’m sure you’ll despise me for something I’ll say you can’t do, but guess what? You’ll get over it eventually.
I want to tell you one last thing in hopes you’ll forever remember it. I will ALWAYS be your mama, and the first girl to ever love you unconditionally. I will forever be there for you in need of help, or as a friend. I’ll even be here for girl advice, although don’t be alarmed if I push them away. I may be a little overprotective! I’ll be there for fashion advice, even though your dad is pretty dang good at color coordination and snazzing himself up. I’ll be here to help get through troubles with school, and when life really gives you a hit. However, don’t ask me about math. Your dad has the number brains. Did you know he has all of our credit cards, phone numbers and license plates memorized? The guy is crazy good at numbers. Lastly, don’t ever hesitate to be close with your sister. Keep that bond tight and never let go. She’s your one and only, and will be there for you when your dad and I can’t be. The light that beams from her eyes when she sees you is something unexplainable and she wants nothing more than to show you love. Sure, you guys will butt heads throughout your life, but love that girl, please love that girl to pieces. Please stay close, stay connected and forever be apart of each others lives.
I’m so, so, so, so, SO blessed to have you two in my life, and your daddy. You three are the lights of my life and I never want you to forget that. Someday I’ll be gone, but I’m writing this in hopes it stays forever. Forever so that when that day comes where I am with the angels, you can look back and know me, and my heart, and how I admire you kids and your father more than anything else in the entire human existence…. and I REALLY like chocolate, so that’s saying something!
Forever,
Your Mama